Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
