if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
