Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
