everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
