I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
