Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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