her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
