Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
