I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
