Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
