If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
