I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
