he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
