I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize