I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I looked at my own cervix.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
