I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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