So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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