he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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