and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize