Already got asked if we're dating
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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