He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
