tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I cut my penus on the lid.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
