I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
