Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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