Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
