Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
