I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize