i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
