Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
