The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize