MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
