I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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