i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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