Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He? As in you personified your dick?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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