Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
