So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
