my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
