Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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