Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
