How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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