Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
