wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
