So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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