i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize