Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
