Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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