just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
