No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
