I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
