he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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