If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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