We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my mouth tastes like poor choices
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
