You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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