im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize