ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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