Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
