If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
should my penis look like a turkey
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
My vagina just recognized that song.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
