are you still at the devil's house?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Someone signed my nipple.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
