The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
