how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
