So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
