don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
