bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
