so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
