$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
