He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
