She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
