very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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