I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize