Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
