How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
