I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
