too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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